Beginning Again

I thought that after you had four children that five would be a piece of cake. I guess I did not quite prepare myself for the fact that I would be taking care of a toddler boy, Teddy, and nursing a newborn. I remember back to how crazy it was trying to care for Abby 4, Allison 2, and Libby a baby. However, Allison never crayoned on walls or climbed on top of the counters to get dangerous sharp objects. She did not throw toilet paper in the toilet or pretend she was potty training....she was potty training. Can we make comparisons? Sure, but is that fair. Teddy is all fun. I am so blessed to have this beautiful little man in my life. He is sweet, lovable, and most of all he is ours. Children have a way of bringing you back to what is important, pure, good, and real. They keep you grounded amid the pressures and reality of life. Brody is loving his family. This kid is already so vocal and showing his pleasure when he is the center of it. A true youngest child already. Teddy is loving that he is the big brother and actually is quite gentle with him. He has good examples of three well four mothers.

Our lives are full of surprises! Each day we think we are doing the same thing, but we are actually having the chance to make our kids better little people. I shudder at some days and how I react to one of them. Then I say a prayer to give me patience and help make me an instrument of peace and love for them no matter how hard it is coming to me. I am constantly having breaks in what I should be doing and saying to them. I think I have finally realized that my greatest purpose in life is to change me from the inside out. I have be a better person and these children are helping me get to that goal. They just might make a saint out of me. I can only pray.

My typical day is a day of cleaning and avoiding near diasasters at every turn. I am searching for ways to have some "me" time, but here recently I have craved some time alone with Ted. So, we are going out to dinner this Friday with friends, but we will have some time alone. Although, we do something really great and that is that we talk at least three times a day on the phone. Ted is always with me and I am grateful that he is "always with me" in spirit. He may not be able to help me daily with 5 kids, but he is there emotionally and spiritually for me. I thank God for him. I count my blessings 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and realize there are always room for more when people ask me,"Are you done now?". Do we welcome more children? Of course, but there is also such a thing as responsible parenthood. We live in a culture that does not respect life and one that thinks that we are control. I'd rather live our lives day by day and be at peace with the decision of choosing to live rather than get caught up in too many plans that I have no real control over anyway. I just want to live my life...the rest of it in service to my family and others. That is all I think God is calling me to do right at this moment.